Everybody needs it. The planet needs it, that’s for sure. Children need it, the elderly, the sick, the poor, even the lawyer in his corner office needs it. Nobody is excluded (except me). Ironically, few people want it (especially me). After all, I am the one who does the helping around here! I am the single working mom! I am Rosie the Riveter, the one with the bicep and the do-rag in that old World War II propoganda poster!
Except when I’m not. And I can’t do it anymore. And I’m tired. And I don’t know what the answers are, or how to make those ends meet up all nice and tidy like they should.
And when I get to this dark and crappy place it manages to get even more terrible because that is when I have to do the hardest thing of all. Accept help. Or even worse: Ask For Help. Ugh.
I am trying to get over this. And myself at the same time. Because needing help sometimes is ok. And I know that there are people out there who want to be kind. And who would like to help. And maybe it even makes them feel a little bit happy to do so.
I’ve recently asked for help from an old classmate. He said he would be happy to help. At times I’ve accepted help from friends and family members. They said they were happy to help. When someone does a favor for you and you say “thank you” they inevitably say “I’m happy to help.” And I think maybe they really are! Come to think of it, we are all happy when we are able to help.
For the record, that poster (which I am featured on) does not say “I can do it!” but “We can do it!”.
So be brave. Get yourself into a jam and ask for help. They’ll be glad you did. And one day you may have the privilege of helping them. Because along with Law of Gravity comes the Law of What Goes Around Comes Around.
Here is a beautiful quote. It’s a bit more eloquent than my musings. I don’t know who said it but they sure said it well:
“Always, the strong carry the weak, the rich carry the poor, the healthy carry the sick, and the happy carry the sad. And whether or not they remember it, this was once their promise, to thank those who carried them.”
I have things I should be doing yet here I am reading through your blog. Each and every post I want to comment on but for lack of time I will comment here. This is very timely for me. I was the one who never wanted to ask for help. I was raised to learn to do everything for myself. See I was born with Muscular Dystrophy. I was lucky and was able to get around well enough until I hit my mid 40s then I began to go down hill. I have had to resort to a wheelchair in the last 2 years and some things are impossible for me to do on my own. My bathroom is set up in such a way that I can not get my chair in to be able to clean my tub. I tried the best I could to wash little areas each time I showered but it wasn’t enough. Finally, I asked my daughter-in-law if she could help. I got the biggest lecture that I should have asked before. With so many things becoming impossible, such as taking down curtains or cleaning areas too high to reach I’ve had to ask for help. I found out there were programs that would pay for me to have help and applied. I was accepted and now I can give my daughter-in-law a small income while she helps me. Even better is that I get to visit with my grandchildren as she can bring them to work with her and they don’t have a mother who had to go outside the house for full-time employment.
It really is hard to ask for help, but I’ve found so many who are happy to help and it shouldn’t have surprised me as I love to help others.
Exactly, Lois! Wow, you have faced greater challenges than many of us have had to even think about – which undoubtedly made it even harder for you to ask for/accept help when you truly couldn’t do without it. Isn’t is wonderful how you were able to help your daughter in law in the process her helping you? A true testament to what goes around comes around.
I couldn’t resist commenting. Perfectly written!